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View Full Version : Post Traumatic Stress Zyndrome


Virgule
December 9th, 2004, 11:16 PM
There is a required notification that all ZFilms member need to be aware of when surfing the messagboard and running into an unexpected Ziyi image.

Be careful. We treat the images of her Z-ness with special care, as they are digitally volatile and able to suck one's objectivity right out of the skull directly through the eyeballs.

Ballistic Eyewear is suggested.

If it weren't for the fact that a glass computer screen protects your eyes from the force of the Z-ness, you would long ago have been driven mad with desire.

There is a special phone number everyone needs to know. Dial 1-800-catatonic if the glass confinement bubble of your monitor that protects your corneas has been breached. Wash out your eyes with soap immediately and blink furiously while watching any Jerry Seinfeld episode.

DO NOT, repeat, DO NOT, insert an ice pick into the visual cortex of the brain, no matter what the voices in your head tell you to do.

Seek prompt medical attention with any ZFilms moderator at the 1-800 number. They have been specially trained in administering expert remedial care in post-traumatic stress Zyndrome.

If the 1-800 emergency Z-ness service is not available in your area, you are really playing with fire. People like you end up in the newspapers all the time.

You have neen warned!

Brainchild
December 10th, 2004, 01:49 AM
does it bloodshot your eyes and turn your hair white?

What you said would explain a lotta stuff.

Virgule
December 10th, 2004, 08:58 AM
Originally posted by Brainchild
does it bloodshot your eyes and turn your hair white?

What you said would explain a lotta stuff.

These are sympthomatic, yes, but that could also be from eating too much cherry chapstick.

Poisonthewell
December 10th, 2004, 02:06 PM
Thanks for the warning. I'm still sort of a ZZ rookie, so I don't think I'm in too much danger yet, but I'll definitely keep a watch out from now on!

Virgule
December 10th, 2004, 03:28 PM
This is the one that got me good. I was so naive, going to this flick called Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon back on a December Saturday in the year of our Lord 2000.

Had no idea what was about to hit me, and then THIS happened on the silver screen.

http://www.ziyifilms.com/zpost/data/501/6zcthd_4.jpg

I keeled like a dyslexic at a spelling bee. The last lucid thought I remember having, before waking up in the ambulance, was "Who the fuck....."

And blam. It was too late. Pure, unprotected Z-ness. No sunscreen, no Foster Grants, no condom - no nothing. Just my poor eyeballs naked to the power of Z-ness. I didn't have a chance.

I now roam the denizen halls of the internet in black desperation, looking for my next fix.

Don't let this happen to you, my friend. :bow:

Poisonthewell
December 10th, 2004, 05:33 PM
Oh no! That picture! MY EYES! NOOOOOOO!

BLAM!!

....and there you go. Too late.

ss'ra
December 14th, 2004, 12:57 AM
Originally posted by Poisonthewell
Oh no! That picture! MY EYES! NOOOOOOO!

BLAM!!

....and there you go. Too late.

We understand, it happened to us to...fortunately for us:grin:.

Gaz
December 14th, 2004, 03:43 AM
[Originally posted by ss'ra
We understand, it happened to us to...fortunately for us:grin:.

for me...............thus.........

EVEN IF I WAS BANISHED TO THE DARKEST PLACE
MY LOVE ( for the cuteone, Z ) WOULD NEVER LET ME BE A LONELY SPIRIT